And the road to life goes up and down...

For starters, I want everyone to know that I am completely aware of what this song is about. I still feel it has some significant lyrics, at least in reference to my life and I like to roll down the windows in the car, turn it up and pretend like I am gonna drive back home to the hills and quiet.

It's been a while since I got on here and spit out thoughts, I had a few minutes so I felt like organizing the madness that goes on in my mind on a daily basis. Recently I have met some very interesting people. Some I don't care to ever meet again and some I would like to stay for a while. Casting all fears to the back burner, I have let people into my life and tried new things that I normally would not. It has been a life changing experience and I am glad I was able to get my nerve or stupidity up to do so.

With my struggle to contain my constant anxiety about everyday occurrences,I often find myself not breathing. Today, I took a deep breath and smiled back at myself in the rear view mirror. There she was...the girl that still knows how to kick ass. I tend to lose her at times, but she always finds her way home. I can be a handful and very hard to hold, but I have learned to move forward and keep the past in the past. I can appreciate meeting people that can do the same. When I allow myself to be linked to a past that obviously was not my future, I throw everything good in my life off. It's hard not to return to what we know. I find the thrill in walking into the unknown.

I read a quote today that said "Our brightest blazes are commonly kindled by unexpected sparks." --Samuel Johnson

So many times we miss the spark because we are too focused on something that is uneventful and meaningless in our lives. The people that are willing to let it all go for the blaze are the people worth living life with.

Life and love are a heavy, heavy load.

Ready For Love??

I heard this song earlier today and thought...I dig it. I guess we always think we're ready for love, especially when we are single and "searching." I actually felt indifferent about..."love" after listening to this song. In this society and these times, love has a new definition. It's very short term. Instead of "I love you," I feel we should start saying "I want to be obsessed with you until I'm not anymore." I meet men pretty regularly and they are all looking for a woman that they have created in their minds. Good luck fellas! Then there are the women who are looking for a man that could star in an animated Disney princess movie.

I no longer live in this haze. I am a clear thinker and as an observer in the nightlife as a single gal...wow!! Very entertaining. No one is ready for "Love." We are ADHD daters. We lose interest in each other quicker than hyper colored t-shirts from the 80's came and went. I loved those by the way. The 40's and the 50's would be ashamed of our behavior. Sit still people, give each other a chance. First impressions are not the end all.

I don't say this as a bitter single woman, I say this as someone who notices how mentally unhealthy we are. I have let go of all expectations in regards to dating. I actually meet someone and embrace them if we have a good time together. When it's over and chances are it will be rather quickly, it's over. It's a square dance. The only difference for me is, I refuse to dance with the same partner twice. I love history, but I won't live it.

Just some random thoughts provoked by a Bad Company song.

"Now I'm on my feet again, better things are bound to happen. All my dues surely must be paid. Many miles and many tears, times were high, but now they're changing. You should know that I'm not afraid."