Forgiveness...

Forgiveness, seems like such an unattainable goal sometimes. I think we often get it wrong because we think forgiveness is something that is asked for, then granted, in that order. I am starting to understand that forgiveness is not so much for the other person as it is for us. It is so hard to forgive when we have been wronged and it is so easy to despise and began the churning of anger and hate in the deepest part of our soul. I believe with all of my heart that disease is conceived in the this batter. Cancer, ulcers, depression, etc... are all nurtured and fed in these environments.

I am the last person to really give advice on this subject, but on the other hand maybe the best. I know what it feels like to be wronged and have good reason to withhold forgiveness. I have to learn to forgive for myself though. I have to forgive it so that I can be done with it. I am in NO WAY there, but maybe recognizing is half the battle.

My boyfriend Scott is the most forgiving person I have ever met. He claims he has not always been that way, but I am always amazed at how he does it. He forgives me at the drop of a hat and I am a repeat offender. I have watched him forgive mean hurtful things done to him by hateful people. I love him for his big heart, but am in no way close to being as generous with forgiveness as he is. It's an uphill battle that I seem to be losing everyday. Releasing that trailer of grudge from my hitch would feel so good, but I seem to continue to add to it.

I would rather release the people from my life.

It's As Simple As Riding A Bike...

I recently purchased a couple of beach cruiser bikes from a local pawn shop here in Tampa with hopes to make exercising a little more enjoyable, with a casual bike ride down a trail or board walk. I found so much more than that. I found a sense of peace, tranquillity, and a way to organize my thoughts as I pedal along with the wind in my hair.

It would be my guess that the average person worries more about what others are doing and saying then taking care of their own short comings.

As I began to pedal I was having a hard time with balance, my legs felt a little weak, and I found myself fretting over a catastrophe... "what if I totally bite it?" It was becoming an added stress that I in NO WAY needed at this time in my life. My boyfriend on the other hand was riding around like a 13 year old kid jumping side walks and pot holes like a stunt man in a Mission Impossible movie. The more we rode the more comfortable I became. I started becoming daring by doing challenging things like taking one hand off the handle bar to scratch my nose and glancing up occasionally to view the sights as we pedaled by. Real Evel Knievel like...

I was starting to have fun!!! I was mastering the art of riding a bike all over again. It felt as good as it did when I was a kid. We had taken the bikes over to the beach and I probably could have ridden the coast of Florida in one night.

Life is so much like getting back on a bicycle after years and years of not riding like you did as a kid. Balance, weak legs, fear of trouble in the future, not sure of your own capabilities. I still had it though and I still have this as well. We face many barriers in life and it's all how we tackle them. If we turn around, we will never move forward, but if we find away around them, we move on without looking back. They are no longer a fret for us. We pedal on through life with the warm breeze gently cheering us on to better scenery.

We(and by we I mean I)just have to remember to occasionally look around so that I see everything I'm supposed to see, not missing out on moments due to clutter in my mind about things that in no way are moving me forward. Aaaaahhhhh now the sigh of release...