Monday, November 15, 2010

And the road to life goes up and down...

For starters, I want everyone to know that I am completely aware of what this song is about. I still feel it has some significant lyrics, at least in reference to my life and I like to roll down the windows in the car, turn it up and pretend like I am gonna drive back home to the hills and quiet.

It's been a while since I got on here and spit out thoughts, I had a few minutes so I felt like organizing the madness that goes on in my mind on a daily basis. Recently I have met some very interesting people. Some I don't care to ever meet again and some I would like to stay for a while. Casting all fears to the back burner, I have let people into my life and tried new things that I normally would not. It has been a life changing experience and I am glad I was able to get my nerve or stupidity up to do so.

With my struggle to contain my constant anxiety about everyday occurrences,I often find myself not breathing. Today, I took a deep breath and smiled back at myself in the rear view mirror. There she was...the girl that still knows how to kick ass. I tend to lose her at times, but she always finds her way home. I can be a handful and very hard to hold, but I have learned to move forward and keep the past in the past. I can appreciate meeting people that can do the same. When I allow myself to be linked to a past that obviously was not my future, I throw everything good in my life off. It's hard not to return to what we know. I find the thrill in walking into the unknown.

I read a quote today that said "Our brightest blazes are commonly kindled by unexpected sparks." --Samuel Johnson

So many times we miss the spark because we are too focused on something that is uneventful and meaningless in our lives. The people that are willing to let it all go for the blaze are the people worth living life with.

Life and love are a heavy, heavy load.

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