Forgiveness, seems like such an unattainable goal sometimes. I think we often get it wrong because we think forgiveness is something that is asked for, then granted, in that order. I am starting to understand that forgiveness is not so much for the other person as it is for us. It is so hard to forgive when we have been wronged and it is so easy to despise and began the churning of anger and hate in the deepest part of our soul. I believe with all of my heart that disease is conceived in the this batter. Cancer, ulcers, depression, etc... are all nurtured and fed in these environments.
I am the last person to really give advice on this subject, but on the other hand maybe the best. I know what it feels like to be wronged and have good reason to withhold forgiveness. I have to learn to forgive for myself though. I have to forgive it so that I can be done with it. I am in NO WAY there, but maybe recognizing is half the battle.
My boyfriend Scott is the most forgiving person I have ever met. He claims he has not always been that way, but I am always amazed at how he does it. He forgives me at the drop of a hat and I am a repeat offender. I have watched him forgive mean hurtful things done to him by hateful people. I love him for his big heart, but am in no way close to being as generous with forgiveness as he is. It's an uphill battle that I seem to be losing everyday. Releasing that trailer of grudge from my hitch would feel so good, but I seem to continue to add to it.
I would rather release the people from my life.
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